DEJA VU

That overwhelming Déjà vu feeling enveloped me as I was cleaning the bathroom last Saturday at my new to me clinic getting it ready for opening day. Like a hug from an old friend it welcomed me back as if I had been there before and this was just part of my routine. It felt right, like I was supposed to be there.

You see, every Saturday as an 11-year-old kid I cleaned doctors ‘offices including Dr. Warren’s office where my mom worked as a nurse. It paid exceedingly well: $26 per week which was much better than the 50cents an hour I earned for babysitting.

When I first started, I worked for Rosetta Palone, an elderly Italian woman from coal country Pennsylvania. She taught me how to clean. She didn’t whistle while she worked but she told lively stories which made the time pass quickly.  Once we made the exam rooms shine, we’d take a break, “a fiver” as she called it. She always gave me 2 cookies and a Dixie cup of Coke.

Rosetta was a kind lady with a sparkle in her eye and an encouraging word at the ready on her lips. “You missed a spot,” she’d always smile as she admonished me, never shaming, but cheerfully pointing out dirt or dust in every last nook and cranny. She took pride in her work and taught me to do the same. “We need to do our best for the patients who come here to get well,” she’d say.

Eventually, I took over cleaning Dr. Warren’s office all by myself.  My mom served as Quality Assurance. She would let me know if the cleaning job was not up to snuff.My breaks involved sitting in Dr. Warren’s private office and peering through his thick medical books. I was captivated. I knew I wanted to go to medical school and become a physician.

Fast forward forty-three years. It struck me funny that I had come full circle, cleaning my own clinic, excited and nervous all at the same time. Am I ready for this?

Though this particular déjà vu experience was extremely positive, I realize they are not always. And it struck me that what we refer to as triggers might be considered negative déjà vu. Something we encounter in our present stirs up a negative subconscious memory from our past and triggers an old coping mechanism which has now become self-destructive. Stress eating might fall in this category. But it is oh so hard to change.

At Oregon Weight and Wellness, we provide a safe place to explore and address emotional eating triggers. “When did you start believing…xyz” is a question l find very instructive. It takes conscious effort to recognize This is not That. It takes courage to say That will not have control over me anymore. It takes confidence to try one more time to respond differently. Stephanie Husk, LCSW our therapist, has experience in helping people identify barriers for change Our health coach, Rachel, will also be available for support.

We may not have to dig under every rock, but we may need to get into a few nooks and crannies. No shame. No guilt. No judgement. And we will do our best so patients who come here can get well and discover that they really can live “weigh” different.