Same Page

I feel very fortunate that my husband and I are on the same page about so many things. And I am not talking religion or politics, though we agree on most issues in those areas too.

We share similar interests in recreation. We enjoy hiking, kayaking, gardening, walking on sandy beaches in Hawaii, and most recently, pickleball. We have similar tastes in décor, furniture, art, shows, etc. We like gathering around the table with family and friends, making and sharing a meal. We love spending time with our children and  grandchildren.

One of the most important values we both share is ageing well which means we both enjoy eating healthfully.

It was not always this way. Early in our marriage, neither of us paid much attention to food quality. And we were not necessarily in agreement with what constituted healthy food.  We both had bad habits, nostalgic tastes, and wrong thinking.

Kenny held fruit juice as an excellent source of vitamin c and served our kids orange juice or mixed fruit juice every day for breakfast and then packed capri suns in their lunches. My version of healthy Kraft mac and cheese included adding tuna and broccoli to the powdery chemicals.

He threw away my diet coke and I hid his karo corn syrup (which he poured on top of the inch coating of jam and butter that he slathered on the Krusteez pancake made with egg and vegetable oil) in the trash.

As we both dove deeper into the big wide world of nutrition, we picked up the good with the fads, eventually getting away from the promise of finding the fountain of youth in any one supplement or diet and embracing the fact that food – high quality food – has to be our main source of nutrition. After all, our bodies are constantly turning over cells. That is, we are getting rid of old dead cells, and making new ones. We make the new cells out of the food we put into our bodies. The better the food quality, the better the cell quality. And the better the cell quality, the better the health.

Over the last ten years, we have moved from packaged foods, convenient meals, and fast food, to being very picky about restaurants, spending more time in the kitchen, more money on groceries, experimenting with new recipes, making our own mayo, dressings, even crackers. We have gone from grocery store produce to organic to growing our own or foraging from local farmers.

We are not perfect. We are still in process. And we trip each other up at times. I buy the occasional “healthy” cereal. Kenny buys Haagen Daz bars or tortilla chips or processed cheese. Or beef jerky. Or licorice.

Most of the time when I open the cupboard or refrigerator and see foods that don’t serve me, I see them with imaginary labels stuck on them reading “Not My Food” or “Kenny’s food.” I tell myself that Kenny has different nutritional needs than I do He is physically active on the job from sun-up to sun -down. He is a guy. Etc.

Most of the time, I can overlook his culinary temptations. But sometimes, when he brings his bowl full of yummy goodness to our den where we kick back and unwind before bed, when he is reclined in his lazy boy, chomping away on whatever delicacy he has cooked up, way after the kitchen was closed, it’s hard not to want to share that with him. So. Sometimes. I do.

I feel for my patients who are not on the same page as their significant other or family members about a healthy lifestyle. They end up making two different meals a lot of the time, or choosing the best they can, which is so hard. I have so much respect for them as we work together to help them stick to their new habits with or without family support.  

I have also seen time and time again how healthy living can have a ripple effect.  I love to hear patients report their spouses are losing weight too, or are seeing improvements in their blood sugar or blood pressure or sleep.

The process of making changes can be a kind of wellness evangelism. Not by judging or proselytizing like a reformed smoker, but by patiently inviting friends and family to come along for the wellness ride, by modeling new ways of experiencing life and health.